Parents have struggled with how much playing time their child should get for at least 60 years. That’s how long ago a group of parents circulated a petition to have my father fired—a year before he took the school’s team further in the state tournament than ever before.

It’s hard to see your child unhappy on the bench, but how much playing time they get depends on many factors.

Age

Sports for kids in elementary school should emphasize learning the game, playing time for all, and sportsmanship. Be sure to check the purpose of a youth league before signing your child up. If they emphasize what you value, and their guidelines and expectations align with yours, great. But beware that many youth leagues have a more competitive focus and are seen as training camps for the next level.

Elementary age kids can learn skills, get exercise, and have fun while they also get acquainted with what it means to be on a team. They may or may not pursue the same sport as they get older, and that’s okay. Sampling sports at a young age will help them decide if or what they want to play when they are older. And because kids develop physically at different rates, it’s too early to assume the best performers will always be the ones who shine.

Community or Club

Generally, community programs are focused on providing opportunities for all kids, while clubs that come with a higher price tag may have a more competitive focus.

There is no regulating agency for city recreation or club sports. If the organization does not have a clear purpose and guidelines for participation in place, overzealous coaches may run the team like the big leagues, emphasizing winning in the short term over giving kids the chance to learn, develop, and grow each year.  

Again, be sure the organization’s philosophy aligns with what you want for your child and family before you sign up.

School Sports

Many middle school teams emphasize participation and learning the game. In high school, it’s to be expected that with each additional year, making the team is more competitive and the goal is to win games, especially at the varsity level. And here’s where there is plenty of room for parents and coaches to disagree.

Coaches are expected to win at the varsity high school level, so they will try to put the kids on the field or court in the positions where they can contribute the most. Today’s youth sports culture where many kids have been playing (a lot of minutes) for club teams for many years, makes it more difficult for coaches and parents to look at playing time objectively. Too often, time and money spent are expected to translate into playing time, regardless of the other factors.

Skill levels matter. So do attitude, team chemistry, and work ethic — some of the intangibles we want our kids to learn from sport. A kid may be talented, but if their poor attitude or work ethic affects the team, a high school coach must take that into consideration.

Not everyone can be in the starting lineup. Some kids actually play better and prefer coming in off the bench. And some kids, believe it or not, are happy to be part of the team, regardless of how much they play.

Read More

When is it appropriate to base playing time on skill? Positive Coaching Alliance

Are you frustrated with today’s youth sports culture?

You’re not alone.

I wrote 50 Years in the Bleachers hoping to inspire parents of young children to change the narrative. Let’s be more thoughtful about how and when kids participate, so more of them can enjoy the many benefits of sport.

Photo by David Vilches on Unsplash