From the moment our children start to crawl we child-proof our homes to keep them safe. We put covers on light sockets, latches on kitchen cupboards and remove furniture with sharp edges to reduce the risk of injury.

But we can’t protect them from everything. And we wouldn’t want to. A child who isn’t allowed to climb trees, play games and move their bodies will miss out on important exercise and social interactions. Cuts, scrapes, bruises—and sometimes broken bones are unavoidable.

How we react to a child’s injury helps them learn how they should react. A reassuring hug and band-aid are quick fixes for a sidewalk scrape. Other injuries may require a few days of rest and some extra attention. But for broken bones and surgeries with longer recovery times, a parent can influence how their child responds both physically and mentally to the situation.

Putting a positive spin on a negative event

When my daughter was seven years old, she fell from the metal bar she was swinging on during recess and broke her arm. I wasn’t sure if her tears were from pain or fear (my husband taught at her school and told me they didn’t start falling until I arrived) but I did my best to console her.

As we drove across town to the medical clinic, she asked me several times what would happen next. She probably thought whatever it was, it was going to hurt even more. Thankfully our doctor was sympathetic and reassuring as he examined her arm and showed her the x-ray. Her fear was replaced by curiosity. She watched carefully as he applied the wet strips to her arm that would harden as a bright pink cast. She nodded as he explained that she should wear a sling and not get the cast wet.

She left the doctor’s office wearing a smile. Over the next week, she was proud to show off her cast and gather signatures of friends and family. But when the novelty wore off and the extra  attention stopped, when she realized she wasn’t going to play in gym class, or ride her bike or climb the tree, for what felt like forever to a seven-year-old, there were more tears.

I knew I had to flip the way she looked at her situation, or it was going to be a very long few weeks. I grabbed a pen and paper and asked her to think of things that she could do with a cast. Listen to music, dance, play Barbies with her sister, play board games, read. As the list grew longer her mood grew brighter.

Before we knew it six weeks had passed, and the cast came off.  

As it turned out, we were just getting started learning how to deal with injuries. Two years later she broke her thumb and two years after that, she broke her arm again—all during recess.

Middle school sports brought sprained ankles and knee pain. But as I’ve written about previously, an ACL tear at the age of 14 made everything else that had happened seem quite simple.

She had surgery the week before she started high school—a stressful situation even without a leg brace and crutches. We managed the logistics as best we could, but there was a lot I just couldn’t make better for her. There was no way to lessen the challenges or make time go faster. She simply had to take one day at a time.

As her leg grew stronger, she supported her volleyball and basketball teams by attending practices and games, but her teammates couldn’t fully understand the loss she felt. Thankfully she was able to participate in other extracurricular activities like pep band and the school play.

When she got out of the brace and could sit at the piano, she told her teacher she wanted to master a favorite but difficult song. She had learned how to focus on what she could do, and it made a huge difference in her mental recovery. She simultaneously made progress with her knee rehab and the piano piece, each encouraging the other when she reached the tough places.  

Her surgeon released her from care a month early and she played the song at her spring piano recital.

There are many psychological aspects to youth injuries and rehabilitation as explained in this article by Mason Blake.

Frustration, depression, and anger are not uncommon. Boys and girls react differently, and every child will respond differently. Parents and coaches should understand that there is more going on than physical healing and watch for ways to help their athlete with all aspects of recovery. 

  Read more about the mental aspects of injuries and rehab

The Psychology Of Injury: Recovery is in the Mind, Not Just the Body by Mason Blake, University of Denver Center for Performance Excellence (CPEX)