I can only imagine the pain of those who have lost a family member, their jobs or their health in the past year due to coronavirus. And I don’t think we can ever thank health care workers enough for their months of dedication and sacrifice.

In the best-case scenario, the coronavirus has only wreaked havoc with our routines. We have had to reimagine our work, school and home lives. Some of us have adapted better than others. Some are struggling with the cancelation of youth sports and high school sports seasons.

If there was ever any doubt about the importance of sport in our society, there is none now. Decision-makers at all levels have had to weigh the costs and benefits of playing. Just how much risk can we ask professional players to take? How do you weigh financial costs with unknown health risks? What about college or high school kids? How do you weigh the physical risks of illness and the mental health risks of not playing?

Children missing their sports have suffered a loss. They have lost the physical benefits of playing as well as the social connection with their team. A study found that two-thirds of high school athletes reported anxiety and depression when sports came to an abrupt halt in the spring.

I sympathize, but during those first few months, as we learned a little more every day about COVID-19, I wondered what we didn’t know yet about the virus and whether it was worth taking the risk to play. Ten months later, as we’ve seen the virus spread rapidly with no way to predict who it will affect and how—or what the long-term side effects may be—I am definitely in the camp that youth sports—actually no sports—are worth jeopardizing the physical health of players, coaches, referees, scorekeepers and parents.

I say that knowing very well what it means to have a season taken away from you.

An unexpected ending

I lived for basketball season in the 1970s. If I wasn’t on the court playing, I was keeping stats for the boys’ team. I was in a gym six or seven days a week all winter. I loved practice. I loved our games. And during my senior year I savored every single day knowing it would end all-too-quickly.

But an appendectomy ended my playing days five weeks early. Back then it involved a surgical incision, several stitches, five days in the hospital and weeks to heal. I was devastated. I spent the end of my senior year grieving the loss of the game, as well as the safety and security of my small high school I’d soon be leaving behind. It was rough, but not as rough as seeing my own child experience a major injury.

Facing adversity builds resilience

At the age of 14, while attending basketball camp, my daughter tore her ACL. As she went through eight months of rehabilitation, I completed research for my master’s thesis about youth sports injuries. Articles about anger, sadness and depression experienced by injured athletes explained why I was at loose ends when my senior year ended early. My daughter was on the same emotional rollercoaster.

When I learned that athletes who had interests outside of sports coped more easily with injuries, I was grateful she had not put all of her eggs in the youth sports basket. A couple months after surgery, she put her energy into other things she loved—playing her clarinet in the school pep band, reading and playing the piano. She asked her piano teacher to help her focus on mastering a difficult but favorite piece and it became a symbol of her resilience.

The virus has now lasted longer than an ACL rehabilitation.

It may be months before we can resume a normal high school sports schedule. Many a dream has been derailed. But it won’t be the last time our children are faced with adversity.

There are no guarantees, ever.

If the season had happened, your child may not have gotten the playing time they’d hoped for, might have suffered an injury or contracted coronavirus with its unknown long-term effect on their health.

One of the benefits of playing a sport is building resilience. Learning to bounce back from losses and disappointments helps kids learn they are able to do that.

They may not get into their college of choice or land a job immediately upon graduation. They may be laid off, not get a promotion or be denied a raise they have earned. There will be pain and disappointments in friendships, romantic relationships and with family members.

Part of “winning” at life is knowing there will be ups and downs and knowing that we can survive the rough times.

Playing to win

I’ve wondered many times what this pandemic would be like for me if my daughters were in high school. If their sports were canceled. I would have to acknowledge their loss first of all. It is no small thing, and the pain is real. But this is an opportunity to help kids build resilience by finding ways to adapt.

When the opponent’s defense stops you, it’s time to run a different offense.

How can the two hours of time your child would have been at practice be spent? Can they use some of that time to run, dance, lift weights or practice skills for their sport so they stay in shape and boost their mental state?

Do they play or want to learn how to play a musical instrument? How to paint or create something with their hands? Do they like to read or play board games? Can they share an activity they love with a sibling?

If your child is in high school, do they know how to do the laundry? Plan a meal and grocery list? Cook a meal? This is an ideal time to learn some basic life skills.

If your child’s weekend schedule was previously too busy for them to learn what it means to be bored and to explore new interests, the free time is a gift. They now have time to explore something that has always interested them: An animal? A country? The space station? A culture? A political movement?

They have time to explore their own imagination and a new interest. And who knows—along the way they may learn something about themselves or discover a passion.

At the very least, they will learn if they can cope with a pandemic, they can cope with whatever else life brings their way.

Please seek help when needed

If you are concerned about your child’s or your own mental health, please seek help through your health care provider.

Read more

More Than Two-Thirds of High School Athletes Report Anxiety and Depression Since Pandemic – UW Health