This photograph was taken at Brands Park in Chicago sometime in the 1940s. This is where my dad learned to play basketball, on a dirt court. My grandma packed him a lunch and he would head to the park where all the boys who wanted to play formed teams based on the order they arrived. When a game ended, the next five took on the winners. Players on the team that lost went to the end of the line to await another turn.

There were no coaches, no referees, and no parents. The boys chose when they wanted to play.

I bet they had a lot of fun.

It’s hard to imagine something like that happening today. It’s a rare occasion when I see a couple kids shooting at a hoop at a park, or a few of them kicking a soccer ball around. What I do see is dozens of kids under the age of 12 being coached by parents in everything from soccer and lacrosse to baseball and football. I know the same thing occurs in gyms with volleyball, wrestling, and basketball, often year-round.

Our current practice of introducing kids to sport when they are young, in a setting led by parent-coaches, comes from good intent. We know kids need to be active for good health, and we know the benefits of playing a sport and being on a team. But one of the reasons 70% of kids stop playing before they get to high school is that they are pushed too hard too soon.  

It’s a great disservice to kids to expect them to play beyond their physical and mental readiness.

Whether our goal is to keep kids physically active or to let them experience the benefits of sport, it makes sense to provide activities and introduce skills at the right time, in the right way. In the long run, more kids are likely to keep playing into high school if they enjoy the experience in the early years.

In addition to encouraging more free play, parents can be thoughtful about how and when their children participate in organized sports by asking questions like:

• Does the program prioritize fun and participation before the age of 12?

• Are kids taught age-appropriate skills?

• Does the coach emphasize the joy of playing?

The Aspen Institute has some great checklists to guide parents as they introduce their kids to sports. The goal: a fun, safe, learning experience. The guide for kids ages 6-12 seems particularly important as those are the years when kids may find a sport they enjoy, but the kind of experience they have will influence whether they want to continue.

The days of middle schoolers organizing their own games at the park are long gone. If adults are going to organize their games, the least we can do is be thoughtful about how we do it.

In two weeks, I’ll highlight a country that has achieved success by taking a different approach to youth sports. It might be time we do the same.

Aspen Institute Project Play Resources 

Parent Checklists

Parent Checklist for Kids Ages 0-5 

What to Aim for in Youth Programs for Kids (Ages 6-12) Who Play Sports

The Project Play website is full of resources for parents, coaches, schools, and communities.

Learn more about the evolution of youth sports in my book, 50 Years in the Bleachers—What modern sports parents can learn from a Title IX pioneer.