Christine Hawkinson

View Original

What kind of coach does your child play for?

A few years ago, my husband’s college roommate, who is a principal in Minnesota, told me about the Minnesota State High School League’s Why We Play Initiative. I was intrigued and excited to hear that there was a group of coaches and educators working to improve the culture of high school sports. I knew it would be something to mention in my book (coming soon!), but I regret waiting so long to read the book that inspired the initiative.

Looking at things from the inside out

The group decided to take action after reading InsideOut Coaching—How Sports Can Transform Lives by Joe Ehrmann. Having just completed it, I too am inspired. To keep writing my blog. To keep raising awareness. To keep contributing to the effort to reinvent youth sports.

I underlined so many sentences and dog-eared so many pages of his book, I will no doubt highlight some of Ehrmann’s observations in future blog posts, but here’s the basic premise: Ehrmann demonstrates with many examples the difference between transactional and transformational coaches, and the difference in how the two types impact the players they coach.

He sets the stage by sharing the good, the bad, and some pretty ugly experiences he had as a child, in high school, and in college on his way to playing in the NFL in the 1970s and 1980s.

It’s a reminder that there has never been a time in youth sports when all coaches treated their athletes well.

But that certainly doesn’t mean it’s okay.

Ehrmann’s story also demonstrates what happens when coaches do treat their athletes well. 

As an adult Ehrmann reflected on the difference between the coaches who did him harm and the coaches who helped him become a better person while he experienced the joy of playing a game. As a parent of a young son, he wanted to be a better father than his own had been, and he wanted to be like the coaches who were a positive force in his own life.

It required a lot of what he calls “inside work” on his part to truly understand how the way he had been treated formed the husband, father, and coach he was. And once he understood, he could take steps to be the husband, father, and coach he wanted to be.

Transactional or transformational?

Ehrmann determined that there are transactional coaches who prioritize winning and use players to satisfy their own needs and goals. They are more concerned about what they can get out of a player than the player themself.

Players can come out of an experience with a transactional coach with emotional and physical injuries, some that stay with them their entire life. 

Transformational coaches, on the other hand, know that the field or court is a place of learning and development, and they foster their players to become better people by mentoring them as they learn and play the game. They treat each team member as an individual and recognize that they are more than the sport they are playing.  

Ehrmann explains how transactional coaches take—and how transformational coaches give.

What can we do?

In today’s youth sports culture, we need more transformational coaches. And we need more parents who want and expect that sports experience for their children to speak up. You might think it would be a given, but as Mike Matheny learned, there are some parents, as well as coaches, who prioritize winning, trophies, and pursing scholarships.

But I’ll venture a guess that most parents would like to have their child play for a transformational coach, just as they would like to have their child be supported by their teachers, youth club leaders, and other adults in their lives.

The InsideOut Initiative, with support from the NFL, is working to transform high school athletics. Perhaps someday, with the support of parents and coaches, the map on their website will show initiatives in every state.  

Is this something your local school district could consider? Can your coaching staff or athletic booster club start the conversation?

Thanks, Steve!


Learn more

Why We Play training video, Minnesota State High School League, 2016

InsideOut Initiative

InsideOut Coaching—How Sports Can Transform Lives, by Joe Ehrmann


If you like to support independent bookstores and shop online—you can!

* I am an affiliate for bookshop.org and have a storefront on their site where I can gather all the books I’ve mentioned in my blog and others that may be of interest. I earn 10% of sales when shoppers start at my storefront (bookshop.org/shop/christinehawkinson)—or you can support your favorite local bookstore by selecting theirs!


Photo by Jeffrey F. Lin on Unsplash