I just finished reading “The Man Watching — Anson Dorrance and the University of North Carolina Women’s Soccer Dynasty.”

Anson Dorrance has been the head coach since the beginning of the University of North Carolina Women’s Soccer program in 1978-79. UNC was one of the first universities to offer women’s collegiate soccer and Dorrance’s early teams set a high standard for what could be achieved. UNC has won 22 of 35 ACC championships and 21 of 41 NCAA national championships. Many UNC players have gone on to be Olympians and professional soccer players. Even those of us who don’t follow soccer closely have heard of Mia Hamm.

By the time they are recruited by UNC, potential players know Dorrance will push them to be their best and that the demands of playing for the Tar Heels will be great. Some thrive in his system. A few decide it’s not for them. And some admit they went from hating their coach to appreciating how they were pushed to find out what they were capable of and who they are. Upon reflection, many former players see how his unique approach to coaching and caring helped them learn about themselves in unexpected ways. They’ve gone on to apply what they learned in their families, careers, and communities.

Ascension

Dorrance sets high expectations for himself and everyone around him. He strives to make every day better than the one before. He describes his philosophy as “living an existence of never-ending ascension.” Dorrance also loves competition. Even as a child playing board games or yard games, he intended to win and looked for ways to out-think his opponent.

Dorrance has never played not to lose. He plays to win every day.

My dad, who passed five years ago today, taught me the difference.

Playing to Win

When a team is behind on the scoreboard and time is running out, a mindset of playing not to lose often results in desperate shots and stupid fouls. But playing to win — assuming you will — lets you approach even the most challenging situation as an opportunity to do what you do best. Your odds of success are much greater when you play to win.

We can apply this mindset to many aspects of life. How we approach our education, health, finances, jobs, hobbies, relationships — pretty much everything — will have a much better outcome if we learn, prepare, and act in ways that move us in a positive direction. 

It’s not easy to play to win or ascend every day. Some days the obstacles are greater. And sometimes we just don’t have the capacity to deal with a challenge. The important thing is to try again tomorrow.

Read more

Lesson from the Driveway: Playing to win or playing not to lose (what’s the difference?)

The Man Watching — Anson Dorrance and the University of North Carolina Women’s Soccer Dynasty by Tim Crothers

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