Finding my Voice
On October 8, my interview on the Be Significant podcast with Matt Rogers and Beth Cook went live. It was an honor to be asked and a fun experience — one I never anticipated. We talked about the history of girls’ sports and some of the challenges in youth sports today.
We recorded the interview in August, so I listened to it carefully as I didn’t remember everything we discussed. I also listened to my voice, because I hadn’t heard what it sounded like to others for quite a few years.
And I hadn’t heard it at all for over four weeks.
Early in September I had thyroid surgery that temporarily affected my vocal nerve. For almost two weeks, I could barely make a sound. I knew the chances were slim, but wondered what it would be like if I never spoke again. I told myself that I could adapt. Others have. But I became keenly aware of what it’s like to have no voice — literally and figuratively.
The difficulty I had with verbal communication kept me silent, wanting to conserve what little voice power I had for when I had something important to say. I found that even having to write or type a note to my husband made me think twice. What did I have to say? Was it worth the effort? I edited my thoughts before trying to communicate. I let a lot of them go.
Does everything need to be said?
I knew that I was being selective, but others did not. They didn’t know that I shared one of perhaps a dozen thoughts. What if we always put that much thought into the words we speak? What if we truly listened to others because we knew it took effort — or courage — for them to speak?
Growing up I was told I was quiet. Thanks to Susan Cain’s book by that title, I’ve come to realize that was never a bad thing. As an adult I talk more, but like many writers, I am an introvert. It takes courage for me to share my thoughts. It took a lot of courage to publish 50 Years in the Bleachers. I have never taken the words I write and share with the world lightly.
The first few weeks after surgery, I had no desire to write. I wondered if I was done. But then, as my speaking voice came back to me over the past month, so did new writing ideas. I miss writing for the joy of writing. I want to explore new paths.
Unfortunately, I’m burned out by personal events of the last six months, so I’m going to take a break from writing Lessons from the Driveway.
I need time to reset and see where my voice takes me.
I truly appreciate your support. Watch for an update in 2024!
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photo by Matt Botsford on Unsplash