How writing a book is like having a child—until it isn’t

Dad and daughter washing their hands in the kitchen

Twice in the last week I found myself telling a friend that my book journey has been very similar to giving birth to a child.

Though the “gestation,” for my book was quite long, those 10 years were similar to being pregnant. I told no one I’d begun writing for the first “trimester,” as I wanted to feel more secure before sharing the news that I was writing a book. Once I said it, I had to be ready to answer lots of questions.

I cared for my project like a high-risk pregnancy. I wanted to proceed in the best way to nurture what I was creating. I loved the writing process. The reflection. The editing. The reorganizing.

But at some point, I had to own what I was happening. I built a website and started my blog, providing a “nursery” for my book, and started to get excited about its arrival.

But then, there was the labor and delivery.

Self-publishing is like running a small business. I had a wonderful step-by-step guide to follow, but there were many decisions, many details to complete. I did as much as I could myself, but I had to hire an editor. I knew I didn’t have time to do the formatting, and the company I hired didn’t provide the smooth process I expected. There were no shortcuts in the publication process and more setbacks than I anticipated.

I missed my first release date goal. Then I missed my second.  

And finally, on May 26, my book was released! Nine days later, like a new mom, I am thrilled and exhausted, with no time to rest because now it’s time to nurture my book.

And here’s where the parallel to having a child ends.

I can set my own goals and timeline for my ideas and plans for my book. I can start by covering the basics: schedule some book talks, keep writing my blog, and find like-minded people to see how we might collaborate.

I also plan to follow my dad’s advice about sports and have fun!

I’m going to take some chances, try for some longshots, and get out of my comfort zone and see if anything happens. This is all on me. My book is never going to think for itself or tell me what paths it wants to explore.

Kids are a different story.

Though we provide complete care and decision-making for our babies, as they become little people, children have their own ideas about what they want to do. Parental guardrails provide a safe environment for them to explore. And we start letting them make small decisions like “do you want chicken nuggets or a turkey sandwich?” then move on to bigger and more important choices, so that one day they can choose a college or a career path.  

Sometimes, that can be hard.

It can be difficult when our child wants to play a sport that may not be our first choice for them. Or they want to quit the one we hoped to watch them play in high school. But raising healthy, happy kids includes letting their interests guide their choices, on their timeline. And it includes letting them explore and learn about themselves.

My book will never show me the path it needs to take. But my children always will.


Thank you!

I am truly grateful to everyone who has purchased a copy of 50 Years in the Bleachers, as well as every friend and family member who has reached out to congratulate me or acknowledge my work. I have been reminded of how many wonderful people I have met in my life and am happy to celebrate this bucket-list-accomplishment with you.


Photo by CDC on Unsplash

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