Lessons learned on my way to a birthday

I have always welcomed my birthday. It coincides with the beginning of a new school year. Both signal possibilities. Like a new notebook, the year ahead is ready and waiting to be filled.

When I turned 40 my mother congratulated me and said I’d reached the point in life where I could start to benefit from what I’d learned so far. When I turned 60 this month, I thought about how much more I have learned since then and how I might live more happily with all this additional wisdom.

My birthday is a time for reflection and planning. I review what I’ve done and what I still want to do. My list has changed over the years. Things that were once important have been replaced with new hopes, new dreams, new plans.

I have learned it’s great to think and talk about things I want to do. Better to write them down. And best to put them on a calendar if I’m really going to make them happen. Long-term goals need a plan with small steps to get me there. I am an organized person, and I like to follow my plan once I have it in place. And changing direction can be difficult for me. 

For many years it felt like changing my plan was failure on my part.

But being willing to adapt a plan—or even let it go is a better path to happiness.  

No matter how much effort we put into planning, anticipating problems or controlling outcomes, there are always circumstances and events we simply can do nothing about.   

Good coaches know this. They scout their opponent and prepare their team the best they can based on what they’ve observed. But come game time, any number of things can throw a wrench in the gears. The best coaches react quickly and adapt. 

Similarly, we need to be willing to adapt our own plans.

And we may even find something better than what we thought we wanted.

For years I’ve insisted that I want to find a traditional publisher for my book. Living during a pandemic and events of the last two years have led me to take a hard look at self-publishing.

It’s time to be really honest with myself. If I choose to self-publish, it means I’ll have to reset my expectations and adapt my plans.

And maybe that’s exactly what I should do with all this accumulated wisdom.