I like your style. I like your approach. (I like your money.)

Receiving a sincere compliment for our creation or performance can be heartwarming and confidence-building. Even the most modest person likes to know others appreciate what they do or who they are. But in writing—and in youth sports—sometimes compliments are designed to serve the giver, not the receiver.

 I spent most of the last year vetting small publishers, hoping to find one interested in publishing my book. It’s an overwhelming process. There are databases where authors can use filters to find a good fit. I clicked on 2-300 sites and found most publishers have a very small niche. Some specialize in science fiction, some only publish work about rural living in a particular state, or some only cookbooks, etc. Given I was searching during a pandemic, I also found many publishers had gone out of business or were temporarily closed. After many hours of searching, I found about 20 that might possibly be interested in my book, and I queried most of them.

Imagine my excitement when one responded asking to read my manuscript!

Two weeks later he sent me an email with an offer to publish my book and a request to meet so I could learn more about how they support their authors. I could hardly believe it! 

After introducing ourselves over Zoom, he told me he liked my book. He liked my style, and he liked my approach. He said my topic intrigued him, and when he got my manuscript, he was happy to see I could write. We found some uncanny personal connections. By the time we hung up I felt like I’d just won the state basketball tournament.  

Trust your gut

But hours later, doubt crept in. Was this really a good arrangement? While I waited for the contract, I read posts on the Writer Beware website. I consulted my favorite bloggers who provide resources for authors. Some of what he had told me raised red flags. The contract raised a few more. I would have had to purchase 200 books. I know as a self-published author I will be lucky to sell 100. They wanted me to be active on three social media. I barely have time for one. And there were some undesirable asks about the rights to my story as well.

Despite the warnings, a small part of me still wanted to believe it was a good thing. They had a website full of authors after all. My book could look like theirs, and someone in the business was willing to put their name on it!

I imagine it’s the same feeling parents get when someone invites their child to play on a special team or in an elite tournament.

But I had to look at the facts. They were going to provide me very little for the dollars I would spend. And my time could be better focused on activities more likely to lead to sales. The company operated as a vanity press and put all the risk on the author. I would be better off self-publishing. I declined the offer and wondered if I’d just passed up my only shot.

Five months later, I submitted a book proposal to a hybrid publisher—my last attempt for a traditional publishing contract. They also offer assisted self-publishing services to only a select few. They said I’d hear from them in 90 days. Three weeks later I got an email saying although they couldn’t offer me a traditional contract, my story was selected for a hybrid contract, and they wanted to partner with me.  

Once again I was flattered and excited, but much more cautious. I looked at the pricing for the hybrid contract and what it included. I had already begun researching what it will cost to manage self-publishing on my own and saw that this offer was also not in my best interest.

I declined again.

I once heard at a writers’ conference that writing your book is the easy part.

There are hundreds of writing coaches who help people hone their skills. Hundreds of publishers, hybrid publishers, and assisted self-publishing companies. Hundreds of agents to query. Hundreds of ways to create files for an e-book and print book or get a cover designed. Writers can purchase publishing packages for thousands of dollars if they want to hand over their manuscript and let someone else do everything from editing to marketing. And there are many bloggers, who also need to be vetted for knowledge and trustworthiness, who offer guidance on all of this.

It’s not all that different from the giant web of youth sports.

There are hundreds of personal trainers to help athletes hone their skills. Hundreds of club sports, elite teams, and special tournaments. Hundreds of agents and advisors who say they can help kids get a scholarship. Hundreds of special coaches and recruiters to help kids reach their dreams. And organizations that offer guidance on everything from how to help your kid become a superstar to how to reinvent youth sports.

Like authors, parents have to become informed to make good choices for their children.

Because there will surely be someone who says: I like your kid’s style. I like their approach. (I like your money.)